Last month we learned of the passing of Steve Jobs, Apple co-founder, genious, sufferer of a rare form of pancreatic cancer. It was a very sad day and the outpouring of sentiments that followed proved how much his genious touched the lives of people all over the world. Facebook statuses scrolled with quotes from his speeches, people commenting how inspiring he was. His death made the headlines. Even if someone didn't know who Steve Jobs was before, they certainly knew by then. Before the month was out, his authorized biography, originally scheduled to release in November, was released and was the New York Times #1 seller. So much was said and reflected about his life, his contributions to society, and his enthusiasm for taking the bull by the horns and charging forward with life. But as he charged, and as he encouraged others to do so, who was left behind? There were those left to wait in the shadow of his success. Not former employees. Not former co-workers. But, sadly, his children.
Steve Jobs' personal history is one of fragmented families and the seemingly inability to prioritze one's personal life. Born in 1955 to unmarried Abulfattah John Jandali and graduate student Joanne Schieble, they were afraid and felt that keeping their baby boy would have been shameful to their families. Jobs was adopted, which is a bright spot in his story, but he never knew his biological parents nor ever attempted to contact them. That is understandable. People are different. Some find comfort in knowing who their parents are, while others are content in just pressing on, allowing the past to remain there, and deciding to not look back. His father, though, did express recently that he had tried to contact Jobs, but only by email. In August, Mr. Jandali (80 year old, casino boss) said, "This might sound strange, but I am not prepared, even if either of us was on our deathbed to pick up the phone and call him. Steve will have to do that as the Syrian pride in me does not want him to ever think I am after his fortune. I am not. I have my own money. What I don't have is my son ... and that saddens me." Sad, indeed.
Of Jobs' four children, one was born out of wedlock by his highschool sweetheart, and it was two years after the baby's birth that he would accept her as his own - only after a blood test proved she was his. He did get to know her and she even lived with him for a while. Now 33, Lisa Brennan-Jobs said of the contrast of life with her father verses the simple life with her mother, "My father was rich and renowed, and later, as I got to know him, went on vacations with him, and then lived with him a few years, I saw another, more glamourous world." Interesting, don't you think? Her time with her father gave her a perspective on wealth, not a father/daughter relationship and what it could, or should, be.
The now infamous authorized biography gives the reader an even clearer glimpse into Jobs' role as a father. The mere reason for his approval of the biography was that he wanted his children to understand (after his death) why he wasn't there for them. "I wanted my kids to know me," Jobs was quoted as saying by Walter Isaacson, author of the biography. "I wasn't always there for them, and I wanted them to know why and to understand what I did." The biography was called a "love letter" to his family. Perhaps his children would have rather his life have been the love letter, instead, they get a book. A tell-all explaining why he wasn't the father he could have been for them. Not in order to comfort them, but for the purpose, and I again quote, "I wanted them to know why and understand what I did." The legacy every child wishes for: dad puts in a book his attempt to justify why he wasn't there for me. Gee, thanks dad.
Now, turn the pages of the newspaper, away from the front page headline and go about ten pages back. A small obscure article. It was in last week's paper, but you probably missed it. Another individual passed away. He, too, contributed to society, but in a much different way. Five years after Steve Jobs was born, this man began drawing a well known and loved cartoon. We know his characters well, at least those of us born before the effects of Jobs' technology took over our lives. Characters like Billy, Jeffy, Dolly and P.J. and the unseen characters "Ida Know" and "Not Me." Bil Keane, 89, creator of "Family Circus" passed away last week. Nobody is quoting him or sharing his cartoons on Facebook. As a kid, I always read his cartoon first! Even before "Peanuts!" I loved the trouble the kids would get themselves into and the tender and often funny moments of life lessons! It was a sweet cartoon. Simple. It was that simplicity that Keane felt contributed to its staying power. "It's reassuring, I think, to the American public to see the same family ... We are, in the comics, the last frontier of good, wholesome family humor and entertainment," Keane said.
However, I submit, that, although "Family Circus" was based on his own family, it won't be his comic strip that will be his legacy. We probably won't read about him weeks, months, or even years after his passing ... but there is a group of people who will forever be inspired by him - his family. There will be no need for an authorized biography to help his children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren understand his life - to understand him, period. There was no need to express through a published book for all the world to read what was whispered at bedtime, displayed through his choices, lived in front of his family, and said from his own lips: I love you! One of his son's was at his bedside the day he passed, but all of his five children, nine grandchildren, and his great-granddaughter were able to visit him the week before. "He said, 'I love you' and that's what I said to him, which is a great way to go out," Jeff Keane said of the last conversation he had with his father. "The great thing is Dad loved the family so much, so the fact that we all saw him, I think gave him great comfort and made his passing easy."
The Keane family will never have to wonder what life would have been like if their dad had made his family his priority. Because he did just that, they will forever live with his legacy - one of kindness, humility, integrity, and love. Their memories will be sweet. His drawings and sketches cherished, because they were penned with his hand - the same hand that guided them and led them and ultimately taught them that they were the most important part of his life. Nothing in the end to justify or explain. All that needed to be said was heard just before his last breaths.
I don't know about you - but that's what I want. I want my children to have a legacy to build their own lives upon. I want to begin now creating that foundation for them. I can't wait until things grow dark and weary and hire a writer to help me explain my misteps as a parent. I want the "now." I want the "now" to mess up and the "now" to make things right. I want the "now" to seek the Lord so those mess-ups are few and far between. I want the "now" to love on them and to assure them of my love. I want the "now" to create memories they will always keep and cherish. I don't want them to one day stand over my casket and wonder. I don't want them to be at a loss when it comes to answering the question of how my life inspired them. I don't want their memories of me to consist of voicemail messages and a life consumed by work. The Keane family will always know, because they have the memories to back it up - not just a book that's a best seller. My children will always know, too. My work will be in making memories and a lasting legacy. I would rather impact my children's hearts than thousands of lives around the world any given day.
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